Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

The final chapter? Why do I somehow doubt that. Also, ‘Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter’, not really a good sign is it. Yet you could say this present day horror franchise is the modern equivalent of the trashy slasher franchise of the 80’s, just glossier looking. I mean lets be serious here, who in their right mind thought we’d be at movie number six with this franchise. Anyway this movie starts off by giving us a complete backstory flashback right from square one. This is presumably because many folk will have forgotten everything that has come before in this fast food throwaway franchise. I’m not really surprised, there has been so many characters dying, surviving, disappearing and coming back its easy to get confused.

So what’s the new angle this time? There is no angle, its back to Raccoon City! ugh!! Yep all the way back to the hive where it all began, but why? (other than cash grabbing on nostalgia porn). Because there is in fact an antivirus to the T-virus which has been developed by Umbrella. But why would Umbrella develop an antivirus? Well because they intend to keep all the rich and important people frozen in cryogenic pods underground in the hive. Then once the T-virus has wiped out mankind (Umbrella released it on purpose), they will wake up, release the antivirus to kill off the T-virus and then start Earth over as they want. Was this the game plan all along? I dunno because I can’t remember and there’s no way in hell I’m rewatching the last five movies.

This beginning does also mean that we don’t get to see the rather epic looking mega battle that was hinted at in the finale of the last movie. You know, where the last remnants of the human race were all holed up and barricaded in the White House with a humongous army of undead creatures and mutants trying to break in. Yeah that looked awesome…but we don’t see it, just the aftermath where everyone has been killed and Wesker apparently betrayed everyone…again!

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So Alice must reach the hive and retrieve the antivirus within a set time limit. Why the time limit? well according to the Red Queen the remaining human outposts will fall when this time limit expires. Not really sure how the computer would know this, how could it tell when every last human is dead? Anyway one of the earlier things we learn is not everyone from the previous movies is actually dead. There are still numerous clones running around which all equals lots of convenient and contrived twists and reveals. And as to be expected, the movie raises many many questions concerning the plot and possible errors.

So on her way to Raccoon City Alice inevitably comes across numerous obstacles or traps, obviously these are Umbrella orchestrated. There appears to be a small band of survivors in Raccoon City and Umbrella are determined to kill them off. They aim to do this by moving towards the city in tanks very slowly (led by the thought to be dead Dr. Isaacs, same actor), leading a vast undead army behind them, no clue why. Eventually Alice winds up with the survivors, gains their trust (mainly due to the reemergence of Claire Redfield, same actress) and decide to make a stand against the incoming hordes. Low and behold Alice and co win, destroying both tanks in the process. Yet in the next scene we see Alice and co using one tank (was there more than two? only saw two).

Stage two, off to the hive with her new band of gun totting badasses (some white blokes with beards and muscles, a few sexy women, one token black guy, the usual), which is briefly interrupted by zombie dogs. Cue a sequence where most of the team somehow manage to outrun said zombie dogs accept for the obligatory odd member who gets mauled. Once inside the hive they discover it to be a giant funhouse of deadly traps being controlled by Wesker (whose face looks oddly plastic and CGI). Here most of the team get killed off at various stages by various traps. Its all highly obvious but actually highly entertaining. In fact the whole deadly funhouse angle is actually a neat way to go, shame it doesn’t last very long.

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In the meantime there are more Umbrella tanks with armies of the undead moving slowly towards Raccoon City, not really sure why though. One tank picks up Isaacs (he survived the first attack with his other tanks), he informs one soldier to head for the hive. Said foot soldier says he can’t he has other orders…but from who?? Is there someone else we don’t know about higher than Isaacs? Its at this point that Isaacs kills the foot soldier. These movies amuse me, in a world where the human race is on the brink of extinction, people still go around killing each other en mass. And apparently Isaacs can afford to kill his own Umbrella foot soldiers, surely they must be running out?

Stage three, Alice reaches hive central so to speak and confronts Wesker who has thawed out some of the rich important people. Said people turn out to be the real Isaacs (UGH!!!) and an old lady in a wheelchair. So I don’t wanna spoil anythi…ah fuck it, the old lady is actually the real original Alice. Yes the Alice we’ve all been following through all these shitty movies was in fact a clone all along…oh…my…God! We then get a whole load of spiel from Isaacs who explains his entire dastardly plan and how much he hates both Alice’s. The real Isaacs also has the antivirus which he goads clone Alice over. Thing is, if Isaacs hates old lady Alice so much, why doesn’t he just kill her? If he doesn’t want clone Alice getting the antivirus, why not lock it up in a hi-tech safe?

Stage four, the finale. Its incredible but somehow, some bloody how, that flippin’ laser beam corridor is back. You know, the one that cuts people up…well except Alice. Yes the finale sees clone Alice and the real Isaacs having a good brawl which leads them into the laser beam corridor. Alice again manages to dodge the beams, for some reason the beams don’t form the deadly diamond mesh formation which allows Alice to evade them. Alice then sticks a grenade in Isaacs pocket which doesn’t blow him up? and doesn’t kill Alice also? I guess it wasn’t a grenade? whatever.

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Stage five, the final part of the finale (oh please!). Well what do you thinks gonna happen here?? Clone Alice manages to kill everyone of course, Wesker (wasn’t he a monster at one point or something?), the real Isaacs and even all the cryogenically frozen people (geez!). The antivirus is released into the atmosphere and literally wipes out all the zombies within seconds, doesn’t even need time to spread through the air apparently. We could of at least seen some cool decomposing or melting or breakdown of the zombies as the antivirus destroys the T-virus, nope they just drop like flies. Luckily it will take years for the antivirus to spread across the globe so that leaves plenty of time for yet more undead monster killing adventures from Alice, hurrah!

OK credit where credits due, this franchise started way back in 2002 for Pete’s sake, its now 2017 and its still (apparently) going strong. Despite the fact I literally cannot understand how this is happening, I have to admit that’s impressive, come on admit it, it is. Considering almost every one of these movies is virtually the same shit but in different locations, I have to give congrats even though it pains me to do so. Yet despite all the questions, flaws and stupidity this movie is actually one of the better ones in the franchise. Its not completely ridiculously overblown nonsense as you might expect, its actually a little bit toned down, much darker, a smidgen more serious and you don’t get as many mutants, monsters or zombies. Its still a total videogame-esque rampage of blood ‘n’ gore that feels like its played out in stages with boss fights, of course (obviously nothing like the actual videogame). Its simply not as daft and thusly that little bit more engaging in a good way.

6.5/10

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